Healing for survivors of child abuse
Tuesday, 18 April 2006
Presenter: John Inglis
First published by ABC Western Australia: http://www.abc.net.au/wa/stories/s1618336.htm?backyard

A survivor of childhood abuse now runs a healing centre for other survivors.
When Liz Mullinar could no longer bear the cries of anguish from people who had no where to turn for help, she set up Mayumarri. Located in rural New South Wales, the centre caters for survivors of childhood abuse. Mayumarri is an opportunity for people to heal and to move on in their lives, she says.

Liz Mullinar was sexually abused by her father and others from the time she was a baby till she was 19. As a child, she says, the betrayal is made worse because a parent is the abuser. "The prime care giver is saying they love you while abusing you."

That's a very confusing message for survivors, says Liz, who in adulthood then have to "rewrite these confusing messages." and to learn that others can be trusted.

The trauma experienced by those abused is different for different people, says Liz but universally, they feel powerless. So survivors can be bossy, or controlling. They may develop obsessive behaviours as a way of controlling their lives, control which they didn't have as children.
We can only have mandatory reporting when we actually have government services to support the kids and the families
There's a sense of worthlessness, Liz continues. People can become addicted to work or drugs, gambling or alcohol. "One staggering national statistic is that 92 per cent of heroin addicts suffered from trauma." Sufferers turn to things that will relieve pain, Liz explains. "It's hard for people who have been abused to get understanding because it's so hard to understand if it hasn't happened to you. It's so outside normal human behaviour."

One in five girls and one in eight boys are abused, according to government statistics, say Liz. She is appalled that there is no government funding for healing for children or adults. "Our point is, we want to heal and move on and not to have our lives affected permanently because of our childhood."

The work at Mayumarri is based on what Liz instinctively felt she needed and on what other survivors were telling her. Participants connect to the right side the brain, the unconscious side, she explains. They're able to feel emotions that they couldn't at the time of the abuse and then to move on. "They know that they can change the way they are feeling. They're not stuck with those feelings - not hopeless."

Liz is adamant about the need for services for survivors. Western Australia has one of, if not the best, programs for perpetrators, in SafeCare, she says. SafeCare is a program that works with the whole family. It's only possible because WA doesn't have mandatory reporting of abuse, unlike other states, she believes.
All the money is put into taking the perpetrator to court
In comparison, in New South Wales, says Liz, there is no support for children. If a father is reported, the child can be taken away, the family broken up, the mother "devastated" and the child can be blamed. "We can only have mandatory reporting when we actually have government services to support the kids and the families," says Liz.

NSW is the state she is most familiar with. There, Liz says, when a child reports abuse, there's no counselling or services. "All the money is put into taking the perpetrator to court and if the child won't do that, they're dropped."

Mayumarri started in 1999 when Liz could no longer bear the anguish of people phoning in crisis and feeling suicidal. Many can't afford a psychologist at $130 an hour, she says. She and her husband took the plunge, sold up and developed Mayumarri. According to Liz, the centre offers affordable healing.

Survivors take part in a week long residential program in safety with other survivors of child abuse. They can talk about their issues, they won't be judged and they'll be with other people who understand so they can heal, say Liz.

SafeCare website
http://www.safecare.com.au/